he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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