i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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