I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
