I haven't been this sober since birth.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize