You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
