we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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