similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
