I want to walk on stilts...naked
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
