I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We don't watch enough power rangers
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
