i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
