she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
