wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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