so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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