Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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