brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize