saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
