hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
