I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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