So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It's never too late to be topless.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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