so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
