Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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