my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
