duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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