I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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