I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I could make wine with my vomit
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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