the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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