In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
