in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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