This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
