gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
