You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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