I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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