so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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