wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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