Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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