I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
