It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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