Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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