He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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