I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the day after is always just damage control
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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