i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
