she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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