You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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