Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
no, he came in my armpit
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
