goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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