All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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