As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
