Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
