Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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