And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
