Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Mom said you looked used
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
