He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I fill condoms, not promises.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
