Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Randomize
