I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
