you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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