I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
