Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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