I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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