we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
